Things not to say to a twin Mum…
So, you see some cute twin babies in the street/shop/supermarket… how lovely! Their mum probably looks a bit tired and in need of a helpful supportive comment? Think again! We may smile sweetly, but this is what we are really thinking….
Last time I tried to do a shop with the twins in a double trolley I counted how many times I was stopped. In 50 minutes I was stopped EIGHTEEN times. That isn’t funny. Putting four litres of gin in the trolley just to shock the old women tutting at me being in the booze aisle however, was VERY funny. ‘Two for mummy, one for daddy, one for you two!’
So tongue in grumpy cheek here are some of the delightful comments I receive, almost every time we go out, and what they actually make you think. Other twin mums will no doubt have more…
1. Oooh! Double Trouble!
No, just double everything. Lets focus on something positive?
2. Two for the price of one!
Two for the price of flipping two. Have you tried putting two kids in one carseat?
3. Did you know you were having twins?
Yes, because I had a scan. And looked like a hippo.
4. Are they identical?
No. The clue is that one has long brunette hair, one has blond short hair. And they don’t look the same. Plus the evil one with red eyes and smoke coming from her nostrils stands out a little…
5. Are they a girl and a boy?
6. Are they girls?
7. Are they boys?
Yes. (gender is just utterly irrelevant at this age and I’m bored of answering! )
8. Did you have IVF?
No. But while we’re on the subject of very personal and private health conditions, anything that you would like to discuss?
9. I don’t know how you do it!
Come round and I’ll train you. I need a minion…
10. Awww *pity face* Is it hard work?
No, because I built a baby pit where they sit in their own poo all day and we chuck in meat twice a week. YES.
11. I know what it’s like, I had mine just a year apart
Then no, you don’t. You had two a year apart. I had two two minutes apart. It is very different. Not a competition. Just different.
12. (My personal favourite) Are there twins in the family?
Yes you donkey brain – they’re right in front of you!!!! (erm yes, lots in family!)
I’ve also had some hilariously ridiculous comments, thankfully less common, but my favourites so far have been:
“If I had to deal with that I think I’d kill myself!” – No please, don’t let the lack of twins stop you, you wonderful ray of joy!
“You won’t know if they’re actually identical until one has a baby. If the other one has labour pain too they’re identical” – WTF??
Go on twin Mummies – make me chuckle with yours!