Crafty Rubbish

I once heard Germaine Greer declaring her hatred of Arts and Crafts and felt reassured that I wasn’t the only one rejecting this frequently feminine pursuit. I don’t knit, appliqué anything or make my own Christmas cards, so it’s a tough challenge for me when my daughter asks to ‘make something’. We’ve mastered the biscuit and general stuff-stuck-on-paper. That’s about it.

So today, less than a fortnight into the school holidays and already nearing ice-cream related bankruptcy, I caved in and suggested we try making our own toys. I still maintain that craft is rubbish, and so decided to find our entertainment exclusively from the bin. Literally, I had to go in the recycling bin as my aversion to artistry includes failing to ‘save’ bits of tat for making bigger bits of tat.

I must concede we had a good laugh! I’m certain that as a rookie to this I am still on homemade toys 101, but she was well impressed with what we managed to do.

1. The LAMI-SKATE™

What do you get when you combine cheap laminate flooring with cut-out used milk bottles? Why LAMI-SKATE™ of course! The new fun game combining classic slips, trips and falls with mild ankle chaffing! Bit like ice-skating, with less control, grace or sequins.

For all your injury needs

2. The Frocket.
(Stephen Hawking, I know you always read my blog, please look away now, this is an insult to physics). It started as a spaceship, evolved into a fort then a flower pot. The rockets naturally go on the top, filled with flowers. (‘Just Married’ confetti from a wedding you forgot to chuck it at is optional).

And that’s it! The grand sum of my limited imagination from a big blue bin.

Feeling slightly like I was failing her we went to Hobbycraft for ‘inspiration’ and these were right inside the door, like a massive message from 1970′s feminism. “QUIT THE CRAFT!!”

It was ten biscuit cutters for a quid. That’s eight quid’s worth you’re looking at. I gave up there and then and decided I’m sticking to biscuits. These should see them through until they discover the white box under the telly is actually a Nintendo; then I can tie them to the Wii Fit to help manage the adolescent diabetes!

JT

(By the way I hear there are probably some good craft blogs out there. Please feel free to share them here for the people who were incorrectly linked from google looking for ideas).