The 10 Superior Skills of the Twin Parent
I had a cracking comment recently on a post I wrote called Things Not to Say to a Twin Mum. Cracking in the sense that I read it, snorted with laughter and hit delete with a flourish. Basically it was a ranty-moo response that twin mums think we are better than everyone and we act like a ‘twin mum mafia’. I SO wish I hadn’t deleted that comment, as I think the responses from other readers would have been absolutely class, but it was nasty and late at night so I did it without thinking.
Anyway, I got to thinking I wish! A twin mum mafia would be flipping awesome! We have so many unique skills that would make us a great mafia! So, red-rag to bull and all that: here it is. Thank you anonymous commenter from Milton Keynes: if my jokey post on things not to say got your goat, this one is aiming to take the whole herd. Mwahahaha! I hereby present:
THE 10 SUPERIOR SKILLS OF THE TWIN PARENT
- Strength: Our constant lifting of heavy babies gives us superior muscle tone.
- Endurance: We endure sleep deprivation comparable to special-forces in training.
- Speed: We can fly in and out of a baby’s bedroom at 4am like a flipping ninja. (You would too if you risked waking another screaming baby).
- Sense: Our sense of smell is heightened to that of a top police tracker dog, being able not only to spot a dirty nappy, but locating it to within 6 inches from the other side of the room.
- Humour: We laugh in the face of danger. (Mainly because we accept we can only tackle one danger at a time so the other one may as well be funny!).
- Hustling: We have more grey hair than you would expect for our age, which is disarming and helps us hustle.
- Gift of the Gab: We should all have PhD’s in Diplomacy and Negotiation (e.g. you get to pull the plug out tomorrow, the second hand shoes are magic, three divided by two is one each and one for me, etc)
- Emotional Resilience: We can do all of the above while simultaneously crying without even smudging our mascara. (We have no time for makeup).
- Lords of the Dance: We always have enough people for the hokey cokey.
- Brute Force: Our prams are bigger than your prams. Move over, we’re coming through whether it suits you or not!
So, Twin Mum Mafia it is! Who else is in? What are your qualifications/special skills?