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18Jan
Things not to say to a twin Mum…
So, you see some cute twin babies in the street/shop/supermarket… how lovely! Their mum probably looks a bit tired and in need of a helpful supportive comment? Think again! We may smile sweetly, but this is what we are really thinking….
Last time I tried to do a shop with them in a double trolley I counted how many times I was stopped. In 50 minutes I was stopped EIGHTEEN times. That isn’t funny. Putting four litres of gin in the trolley just to shock the old women tutting at me being in the booze aisle however, was VERY funny. ‘Two for mummy, one for daddy, one for you two!’
So tongue in grumpy cheek here are some of the delightful comments I receive, almost every time we go out, and what they actually make you think. Other twin mums will no doubt have more…
1. Oooh! Double Trouble!
No, just double everything. Lets focus on something positive?
2. Two for the price of one!
Two for the price of flipping two. Have you tried putting two kids in one carseat?3. Did you know you were having twins?
Yes, because I had a scan. And looked like a hippo.4. Are they identical?
No. The clue is that one has long brunette hair, one has blond short hair. And they don’t look the same. Plus the evil one with red eyes and smoke coming from her nostrils stands out a little…5. Are they a girl and a boy?
Yes.6. Are they girls?
Yes.7. Are they boys?
Yes. (gender is just utterly irrelevant at this age and I’m bored of answering! )8. Did you have IVF?
No. But while we’re on the subject of very personal and private health conditions, anything that you would like to discuss?9. I don’t know how you do it!
Come round and I’ll train you. I need a minion…10. Awww *pity face* Is it hard work?
No, because I built a baby pit where they sit in their own poo all day and we chuck in meat twice a week. YES.11. I know what it’s like, I had mine just a year apart
Then no, you don’t. You had two a year apart. I had two two minutes apart. It is very different. Not a competition. Just different.12. (My personal favourite) Are there twins in the family?
Yes you donkey brain – they’re right in front of you!!!! (erm yes, lots in family!)I’ve also had some hilariously ridiculous comments, thankfully less common, but my favourites so far have been:
“If I had to deal with that I think I’d kill myself!” – No please, don’t let the lack of twins stop you, you wonderful ray of joy!
“You won’t know if they’re actually identical until one has a baby. If the other one has labour pain too they’re identical” – WTF??Go on twin Mummies – make me chuckle with yours!
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Oh God, just all of them. I hate taking them to the supermarket. It takes forever. I love the bit where you say you just reply yes to all the questions about their gender. Some people are so dumb. I get asked if mine are both girls. When they are both wearing the same pink coat. Not THE same one – that’d be weird. You know what I mean.
Hehe there is an obsession with baby gender isn’t there. Depending where I am sometimes it passes the time and mildly amuses me just to make stuff up. Weight? 8lbs each. Born in a lift. Different Dads….
when my husband was out with our twins alone, he came up with the best line (deadpan voice) to stop curious strangers in their tracks….
‘are they twins?”
my husband: “no, different mothers”
I modified it for when I was out alone… and although it may have made me look like tramp (!!), it was so worth it to see their totally confused and horrified expressions! Made all the unwanted attention at least amusing for me!
Love it! Funny the things we say through sheer boredom!!
OMG you made me split a gut! Me and my twin mom buds (think there are 8 of us in total) bond over telling each other similar tales – mostly because we love laughing at how others speak before thinking! I love the sentiment that their experience is the same….absolutely not! Here’s a few more to add…
“How do you tell them apart?” – well i call their name and they answer…they do have different names you know!
“Do you always dress them alike? I’m sure they want their own identity.” – thanks for that – I’m really trying to )@)$*(@ with their identities…have you tried dressing toddlers differently without a fuss? go on, i dare ya!
“I don’t know how you do it!”gush gush – well either do I sweetheart but they can’t fend for themselves yet! Plus the drinking really helps;)
“What did you say when they told you they were twins?” – YIPEE! (after i picked myself off from the floor when I fell off the gyno table!)
thanks for the laugh today:)
Glad you liked it! I get all of those as well!
That was a pretty good read. Those questions sound so familiar. But I get most of those questions when i show pics of the boys on my phone. I’ve actually tried my best to stay away from the market. I keep my boys wrapped up in the house. We’ll go out when the weather gets good. I look forward to your future posts. Cheers.
I’m laughing. : 0
LOVE THIS!!! Read it out to my hubby with tears and laughter!!! Only people without twins can ask such silly questions!!! I run a twins group and we
…( sorry silly phone!) ….. We
Fantastic piece of writing. I salute you and all other twin+ Mums!
MJM
… (sorry again) …. We often laugh about the things people say. My favourite response I’ve ever given is; “Are they identical???” (one is in pink the other in blue and is very obviouse they’re boy girl) – me “No, one has a willy!”
Oh yes Dawn! I did used to try, but find myself incapable of not replying “No – they’re a girl and a boy.” with a corresponding look on my face.
It’s a scary question,, but more so when asked by a nurse!!!!
Yes, I have had that, and given that answer…and still had the lady argue back that they could still be identical!
Same here! I actually had to give something of a sex-ed lecture to an older man once when he asked me what the difference was between identical twins and fraternal twins! When I got to the part about there being two eggs that get fertilized he excused himself.
I get this too! One dressed head to toe in pink, the other head to toe in blue! Two boys or two girls? Erm, one of each hence the clothing!!!!
I’ve previously been asked ‘have they always been non identical? Even at birth?’ and this gem ‘how did you decide who got short blonde hair & who got curly brown hair’? !!!!!!
For the record I have (very) non id boys, I didn’t have one cosmetically altered at birth & their hair is what it is!!
I can totally relate. I wrote a short post a couple of months ago about the 5 things I’m always getting asked, and some of your points are exactly the same.
http://fivethingsblog.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/5-things-everyone-asks-a-mum-of-twins/
Loved reading your post – so nice to know it’s not just me!
Haha! Great post – the genetics thing is funny isn’t it! The number of ‘facts’ people tell you makes you wonder about just how much crap people believe about anything!!
Omg yes we’ve had all of those it drives you nuts doesn’t it?
But the “are they twins?” really gets me, they are both babies the same size, in a double pushchair, WTF else would they be? So a few weeks ago after being stopped even more than usual and being even more grumpy than usual, I said “yes, what else would they be?” she said “well, you haven’t dressed them the same, twins are dressed the same”. There’s no answer to that really is there? Well, apart from the obvious “please tell me you have no children and your gene pool will end with you.
Love the I’d kill myself if that happened to me comment, I will use that next time.
One twin mum told me that once hers were older she didn’t get so much attention and she did miss it sometimes. Hard to imagine now I suppose. Thanks for making me laugh though.
That comment makes me crazy too. My smart response has been “actually this one is 10 years older. He’s just really tiny for his age and doesn’t like to talk about it”. (my twins are only 1 but we would get this question when they were newborns)
fabulous! and so true, mine are Identical and fairly obviously identical, yet i still get ” are they twins?” me yes! “one of each?” No (both in pink dresses with pigtails) “which is older?” is a current favorite then when i point to the eldest “oh yes i can tell??????” Id love to know how! 2 minutes makes such a difference. also the endless stream of “youve got your hands full” and “which is the good/bad/cheeky/naughty one”
Oh yeah .. I hate the “You’ve got your hands full one” especially when I am at the grocery store with one in the cart and wearing the other one. I tend to hold up my (empty) hands and say, “Nope, my hands are free”
Thank you! I will use that one!!
These are great, I have twin girls and a now 2 1/2 yr old little boy, in the early days when the girls shared a carrycot, my son used to sit in the other side of the pushchair and stare or tell people they were his babies and not to look at them or talk to me! Wise little boy! I share ure frustration with all the ridiculous comments you get with twin babies
my best one has to be if there supposed to be teins why is 1 asleep and 1 awake…………. well they are 2 different babies lol
sorry i meant if there supposed to be twins
Brenda I love this one and I’ll have to use it! I have id twin boys.
“How do you tell them apart?” – well i call their name and they answer…they do have different names you know!
Love these! So true and funny!
Love these! My favorite is “are they both yours?” nope, I stole the other one who happens to look like mine.
Brilliant! I guess people could assume we’re childminders. But then you’d think they’d ask ‘are you a childminder?’!
Now actually crying with laughter! …
Fantastic! never laughed so much this early in the morning!!
(Last week) ‘are they both your children?’ Yes. ‘What’s the age difference?’ Erm, two MINUTES, ‘ah they’re twins! But he’s so much bigger!’ Yes but hardly like at least 9months bigger you fool! Also my favourite is ‘you’re brave’ !!!! Erm!!! Yeah very, I decided to have twins cos I felt brave. Today I don’t feel brave so I shall leave them be!
hahaha! I forgot about all the bravery comments! They made me quite nervous when people said it and I was still pregnant!
I was in a store when I heard something similar. My boys are 6 now but this was when they were about 9 months old. A cashier thought I had a 9/10 month old and a newborn. She actually argued with me about it. I was there when they were delivered. They are a minute apart. Just because they are twins doesn’t mean they can’t have different body types. Now they are several inches and about 10 pounds of a difference.
Whenever I see someone with twins my comments are very different…usually ‘how lovely’ or ‘lucky you’.
On reflection & ready the above comments perhaps I will now just smile & pass by. Wouldn’t want anyone’s shopping spoiled!!!
Hehe! I wish everyone only said that! Sometimes they do make you laugh – one woman took one look at them and said ‘oooh, which aisle did you get those from, they look tasty’! It’s a funny thing; individually the comments are usually nice and well meaning and innocuous, if often a little daft, it’s just a drip-drip effect I guess!
Totally agree – will never comment again!
Oh no! By all means comment! Say something positive, like “What lovely babies!” or “You are so lucky/blessed!”… these are nice things and can make a twin mummy’s day! We do get odd/negative comments and sometimes they come from people who just want to say SOMETHING and get the “tone” wrong, sometimes people are genuinely rude, but don’t let that stop you smiling and saying something to encourage us mummies who are blessed with more than one at a time… often we need it!
Thanks for all the replies – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one! I can’t reply to them all but I am reading them and it’s making me smile
My personal favourite is someone telling my girls that I had to dress them differently to tell them apart. Erm, well one has brown hair and brown eyes while the other has blonde hair and blue eyes but of course it easier to tell them apart from their clothes…… My girls are 3 this weekend and these comments definitely do get less and less so hang on in there!
EC, my girls will be 20 (yr old, not months) in May. People still find them so similar… with one being tall and blonde and the other one being small and brown… Boring.
Happy birthday to them !
“to them”… to yours, I mean
By the time my id twin boys were 2 months old I swore to my husband I was going to get a t-shirt printed and wear it at all times;
Yes they are identical,
No it doesn’t run in the family
Twins are easy. Having one must be a breeeeze!!!
I almost had the exact same t-shirt printed!
ha ha ha, brilliant.
my favourite response I use to ‘are they twins?’ are …
no, triplets, I just left the ugly/noisy/grumpy one at home today.
I’m a friendly person generally but I am still not happy with suddenly becoming public chuffing property just because I’ve got twins. I never gave off the aura to approach me during my lunch break so why do I look so friendly now?
and on the other side of the coin, I don’t mind people smiling as they walk past but don’t glare or scowl into the puschchair, they’re twins not skunks. I do glare back. and I have been known to pull the hood over to sheild them if someone barges into a lift infront of us and then turns round to look and smile.
is it motherhood in general or specifically twins that send sus all a little bit madder?
In one afternoon I was asked if I was SURE they were twins – I was quite sure – and then from a mummy with a son and daughter 10 months apart “Mine are practically twins!” – I pointed out she hadn’t carried them at the same time, to which she replied that she “practically had” – I replied that she ACTUALLY hadn’t!
How very true!
Oh yes been there done all those comnents! Really made me laugh! I do an antenatal class for expectant twin parents is it ok to read some out to them as an icebreaker?
Feel free
I’m flattered. Usual copyright on republishing on the sidebar but no problem quoting it 
The worse reaction I got one day was : How can that happen inside our civilized society ? It should be FORBIDDEN !
The lady who told me this was serious, really upset
YOU should be forbidden yourself !!!
Do you mind if I translate your post to French ? This is my mother tongue and some of my friends don’t speak English at all… It’s soooooooo funny and sooooooo true !
When my boy / girl twins were babies I was often asked 3 questions in succession: 1. are they twins? yes; 2. a boy and a girl? yes: 3. are they identical? no. As a science teacher as well as a twin mum, I found it really hard not to say something extremely patronising or sarcastic after the 3rd question!!!
Fiona, when I was in hosiptal having just had b/g twins, a midwife asked me if they were identical. Somewhat worrying!!
That’s brilliant
The comment i get is are they yours feel like saying no stole them to see what having twins is like.
Must be hard work. then don’t open door or tut if in the way.
My boy/girl twins are now 6 and it used to drive me crazy being out in public with them especially the supermarket. “Oh whish aisle did you get those from, the buy one get one free aisle”. I’ll never forget taking my mum shopping when the twins were around 4 weeks old and she was sooo fed up half way round the supermarket that when an lady asked if they were twins she responded “NO!! One is my daughters and the other is mine” The look on the ladies face was awesome!! Thank you so much for sharing
Hahah what ur mum said is actually what happened to me! My mum and I have kids born on the same day, we used to go shopping with separate prams and got asked “are they twins?” my usual thought was if they were don’t u think we would have a twin pram? Funny how I still get asked that if I take my brother and daughter out together, and they’re almost 6, my girl blonde hair blue eyes and my brother dark hair brown eyes! While I don’t know how it feels to have twins, I do know about stupid questions!
Love them all have had so many off those comments. Gonna try a few of the funny replies.
Had a good one today queueing at checkout “oh twins” me “yes” person “oh well I have 3 at school now so I know how you feel” me “really” as my two year old come flying towards me screamin for sweets. Yes I’m sure you know what its like to have 3 under 3 thanks.
get asked so often ‘are they twins?’ – no they are triplets, these are just our favourite to we leave the other one at home!
OMG What a laugh!
My boy/girl twins are nearly 6 now, and I sometimes miss those comments. I used to get it all the time. I remember someone telling me that they couldn’t be twins as one was bigger than the other. I’m their mother, so I should know.
I was even asked “which one is the naughtiest” and that was by another twin mum…
Most common is are they th same age then. Are they both yovrs. You carried 2 at th same time
These are all SO true! The most annoying comment I get is when I am out with all three of my girls. Twins (20 months) and 4yr old. “Oh my. Are they triplets?!” are you kidding me? The twins look exactly alike and are like 32inches tall! My 4yr old is 40 inches tall, has long brown hair, talks clearly, screams at me constantly?!? Triplets?!? What did they forget to pull two out 4 years ago!?!?
We either get the triplet comment since I had two 6 year olds and a 4 year old OR three kids back to back to back. The twins are difference sizes and our little one is almost as big as the smaller twin. The twins are fraternal/ brown hair and eyes and blonde hair and blue eyes. Our 4 year old has blonde hair and blue eyes.
lmao i was once asked if mine were 2 boys with one in blue wearing a before you ask i’m a boy bib and his sister in pink with before you ask i’m a girl bib i just replied yes and said i dressed one as a girl as i wanted one so badly lol x
while collecting my eldest from school a child that walked past us asked me which one was the one that bites. Also one time a lady commented “better you than me” and I was not in a mood for comments like that. I replied “yes it is better that I had them…could you imagine these little angels having to grow up with you as parent”
Them – “are they boy and girl”
Me – “Yes”
Them – “are they identical”
Me – ” Errr No not really. One has a penis the other has a vagina – not too similar really”.
LOL!
Them – “Did you have IVF”
Me – “Actually we did”
Them – “oh so they not natural children”
Me – “No totally unnatural, actually they’re robots”
Phlemphsh splat! (the sound of coffee hitting the computer screen) Please do not try to swallow coffee while laughing!,
Great reply – My brothers first comment when we tod him that we were having twins was “did you have IVF?”
“No”
“Can you have twins naturally?”
(sound of birds tweeting)
Rach
I’ve really giggled reading this page. I don’t have twins and am going to ask a question which I really really hope doesn’t get anyone annoyed, but I do admire the parents of twins as I find it hard enough with one, so, question is what is a good complimentary comment to give to someone I know with twins? What would you like to hear to feel as proud and prized as you ought to?
Something that’s genuinely felt is always the best compliment!
“they are both beautiful” makes me feel good and doesn’t have to lead to a lengthy interrogation.
“Doubly blessed” …. I would much rather hear that than “Double Trouble”
Mine are nearly 2 now and I don’t get ‘as many’ ‘are they twins’ and the other stupid comments but I do get all the time now “ohhhh look at those blue eyesss” which is always appreciated because they ARE beautiful blue eyes
So, so funny. I’ve tears rolling down my face and do true!!!
The weirdest comment I ever had was when my twins were about 5 mths old and I got in a lift and a woman said ” you look very young to have had twins!” ( I was actually 27 at the time) but never realised u had to be over a certain age to have twins!! Lol! The worst comment I had was pushing the double buggy in a shop and a woman turned round and said “you shouldn’t be allowed to bring double buggies in shops” don’t think she thought I could hear her so she turned bright red when I asked her ” what was I supposed to do with them? Leave them outside??” she didn’t reply! Lol!
Brilliant! My favourite question so far was asked when I was pregnant, by a friend who obviously sniffed glue during biology lessons:
Friend:”you know how you have two babies in your tummy?”
Me: “in my uterus, yes…why ?”
Friend: “well you only have ONE bellybutton…”
Me: “yes…last time I looked…so…?”
Friend: “well how does it feed both babies? Does it split in two half way down?”
Me: WTF???
My husband was asked how we tell them apart (aside from the fact ones a girl, ones a boy and they look totally different) he answered, one has a todger!
Perfect answer from the dad.
Nice one
I have triplets and get asked all the time if I can tell them apart???
The IVF question irks me so much…so many people make that assumption and their attitudes definately change when I say they were conceived naturally.
Thank you all (including comments) for making me smile and feeling less like it must only be me who spends 2 hrs at the supermarket answering questions
Loved reading this. They are all so true and love your responses.Mine are 2.5 years old and I still get asked if I have a boy and girl when I clearly dress them the same (in boys clothes).
The one comment that has stood out given to me at the shops one crazy, sleep deprived morning was “ohh, two boys, I bet you wanted girls…2second pause… come on admit it” My Response: I bet your mum wanted a boy didn’t she, then I walked away.
I had 8 miscarrages before I had my boys so I was happy with whatever I was blessed with. xx
My ID twin girls are 2 1/2 and I use to hate when people would stop me to ask me questions, but now I just make them look stupid for asking.. when someone ask me if I used IVF I say nope I used s.e.x and they r stunned after they figure out what I spelled.. my husband says I’m rude because I’ve got to the point that if someone ask me ” are they twins” I just walk away because I mean they are always dressed alike,same size and IDENTICAL!
I had to share this one I was recently asked by someone if they are identical my response NO her “oh but they used to be right?” NO MORON the one has dark brown hair dark skin the other blonde hair Fair skin even I’m surprised they twins. Another classic was the one looks like you so the other one must take after … My response YOUR HUSBAND her face was classical. I hate it when people ask which was 1st born I show them then they question me are u sure the other one much more advanced maybe its coz I nearly lost the other one and he was resusitated at birth maybe that’s why is. a little behind!
That made me chuckle. I’ve had “was it buy one get one free?”, the identical question about a hundred times (one’s a girl, one’s a boy I dress them v differently) and now they’re toddlers “you had your children v close together”, yes about two minutes apart “they’re never twins, are they identical?”. Aaargh!
I have non id boys….I found that children can tell them apart and adults can’t….one little boy said to me “they can’t be twins they don’t look alike” which I thought was very funny.
And the teachers at school thought they were identical and where very surprised when i told them they weren’t ??..
Shows you how much attention kids pay to personalities rather than looks!
which one is your favourite? Which one farts? Which one won’t sleep? Where’s the daddy (or whose your daddy
)?
i have boy/girl twins and I always get asked “are they identical?” ” no muppet, the clue is in the fact they are a boy and a girl” lol.
oh yes, I forgot something. I am a twin myself who has had twins. another comment I always get is, ” are their twins in your family” I relply “yes, I am a twin” response I always get is, “well its supposed to skip a generation!!” well clearly it hasnt so we are an exception to the apparent rule.
I’m a twin with twins too. The skipping a generation thing is a myth.
I think they are confusing twins with baldness!!
A while ago someone, on finding out that my girl twins was six minutes older than her brother, said “Oh, so I suppose you have to feed her first?” I must admit I was so completely flummoxed I didn’t think of a witty response!
I also had an Accident and Emergency PAEDIATRICIAN say she assumed my boy was at least a year older than his sister and they were only eight months old at the time! Surely it is not that hard they are practically the same height, although he is much chunkier… he still couldn’t have passed for an eighteen-monther!
On the question of what to say… it was nice when an old lady sidled up to me and told me how blessed I was to have twins
This post had me Laughing Out Loud! You GO Twin Mum! Love it!
When someone asks if they’re both mine I like to tell them “no, one’s mine and the other’s my husband’s”
Love it! Aren’t we so lucky to have the twin/triplet experience? I tend to just smile at people with twin babies now because I know what it’s like when people practically climb into your pram. I always reply to ‘double trouble’ with ‘double love’ and if people said to me ‘double love’ I would be happy. My boys have just turned two, they are very different and we don’t really get stopped anymore. I kind of miss it, I am so very proud of them
I have boy/girl twins, they are 5 now, I always replied with double the lovin too, I mean, how can you say gorgeous little babies could be trouble, maybe when they were older..LOL
Mine are nearly 2 too – maybe it’s the cut off
but I still get the looks as I thunder passed them in the pram/trolley. Maybe it’s because I tend to go to the same smallish shopping centre and they all know me by sight now 
They more talk to the boys now than me haha
My twins are both girls, who look alike, no clue if they are identical.
My friend has twins boy/girl, 6 weeks younger than mine.
She gets asked if they are identical, her hubby answers, “yes, except for the penis!” I almost wish for b/g just so I can answer that.
“Were they natural?” – “nope, sorry, they are made of plastic you moron.”
Recently someone asked if mine are twins. They still look exactly the same, are the same size, and love to dress the same. The woman was unsure because one has short hair and one has long. LOL, yeah, that would be because one twin likes to cut her own hair, lol
Did you plan on having twins? Yes lady I coached my ovaries into dropping to eggs prior to sex..
Been told I should put my other boys in day care because I had twins… I have 4 under 3
Love it – mine are 14 now, identical twin girls, they have a sister 22 months younger, one day we where at the pool and a lady looked at all three of them and asked……
“Are they all twins”
Now that they are 14 the girls fend of the answers themselves
“Oh you two look the same are you twins?”
“Yes” they reply
“Really – hang on hang on there is something different about you……I know your taller aren’t you”
“yes” says twin one as twin two rolls her eyes in disgust at yet another person pointing out the obvious two inch difference
“And…….oh I see…your face is rounder”
“yes” says twin one in disgust as someone points out the weight difference
Sometimes they will just answer all questions in perfect unison to see the reaction they get….
I’ve heard every single one of these! So glad I’m no the only one lol. My latest was ‘when I’m having a bad day I’m just going to think of you’ WOW thanks I’m honoured!
Oh man! I hadn’t thought of it like that but yes, other parents do tell me it puts things in perspective too!!
beautiful twin girls…identical…dressed exactly alike
“Are they twins?” yes
“Are they girls”?” yes
“Are they identical” yes
We’re definitely on the same page!!
http://twinthusiasm.com/2012/01/16/the-strange-things-people-say/
love this… my fave is did you try for twins ‘hold on yep i squeezed two eggs out’ and ‘do you think you’ll try for twins next time’….. now lets think about it dumb arse.
also love oo and girl and a boy … nope both boys so thanx for ruining my days and ooo hes older because hes fatter, not hes younger he just took to the milk first.
I actually had someone tell me “Oh, you are so lucky. We were trying for twins.” Apparently, they bought some book that told them exactly what to do when to have twins.
I have a friend who bought a book like that. Years ago. She and her husband followed the advice.
Their twins are teenboys now.
Love this
I am 23 with 8 month old b/g twins and an almost 3 year old and the LOOKS that i get pushing my triple pram through the shopping centre!!!! I just feel like screaming sometimes YES I HAVE THREE YOUNG KIDS!!! GET THE EFF OVER IT lol I always get the are they identical question and I’m sick of explaining how they are not identical and if I go out I will always dress one in boy colours and the other in girl colours and I still get the boy/girl question. The best comment hubby and I have gotten is a beautiful older lady that was so taken by the twins she asked for our address and regularly sends us knitted beanies and jumpers 
I was a bit weird giving out my address but she was such a nice lady (I know, still could’ve gone the other way).
Do twins run in your family?
They do now!
Are they the same age? … Which one is older?
Weren’t you listening? They’re TWIIIIIIIIIIIINS!
Multiple blessings and multiple grace for moms of multiples!
<3
My identical boys will soon be 3. I had them through IVF.
I remember a conversation I had with an older lady last year.
Old lady: Are they naturally conceived?
Me: no, I had IVF
Old lady: No dear, when you have IVF you have between 4 and 6 babies.
Me: oh, ok they must be natural twins then!
What a brilliant post. I haven’t been blessed with twins, I am however expecting my third child in about 7 weeks time. What astonishes me is the amount of negative comments people seem to think it’s okay to band about pregnant women and women with young babies.
I am really sick to the back teeth of: ‘You’ll find it hard once the baby’s here.’
‘You’re gonna have trouble once the babies here.’
And people telling me horror stories of babies who didn’t sleep whilst smiling and adding, ‘of course, you’ve got all this to come.’
Really? You know what, I had no idea. Because after I had my second child (who didn’t sleep through the night until she was five), I had a frontal labotomy and have forgotten that babies might possibly wake in the night. Do piss off!
This made me chuckle. It’s bad enough that people think they can make any sort of comment when you’re pregnant/with small child. I imagine there are even more comments with twins.
I’m not a twin mummy, but I think the oddest comment I’ve had was, when somebody found out I hadn’t started weaning at 6 months, ‘Well, that’s why she hasn’t got any teeth!’ Err… no.
I still love the old lady who when told we were having identical twins said “so you could have one of each” “no lady, they wouldnt be identical if one had a P and the other a V”
And then there are the Mums who insist that their single (and only) baby is so difficult that it gives them as much work as two babies ….. grrrrrrr
Rach
Hi –
I edit the NCT Magazine for Cheltenham and North Cotswolds. I would love to use some of this in our next edition which is a Twins Special.
I can give a full credit to you and link to your blog.
please can you let me know if that would be ok?
Thanks
Annabel
Hi Annabel – I replied privately to your email – let me know if you don’t receive it
Hi Annabel
I’m a twin mum recently emigrated from Cheltenham/Gloucester to New Zealand
– I’d just like to confirm that you get the EXACT same questions even on the other side of the world!!
All the best
Sarah
I’ve had two in particular that just made me wonder how the person was able to convert oxygen. A lady asked me if I had IVF, and I replied, “no.” She looked at me in shock and said, “Are you sure?” Hmmm…let me think about that…did I have any invasive procedures that I forgot about…
In the second, a woman asked me if I had IVF, and tried to argue that the girls could not be twins unless I’d had IVF because “twins don’t happen naturally in nature.” Oh, OK…so about all those multiples that came BEFORE IVF?
What a fun read..thanks for the laughs!
As a mother of 4 under 3.5yrs when I had my twins I was always pushing a 4 seater pram and was often asked “Are they all your’s?”
Normally I would politely say something like ‘Yes they are.”
This was more than not followed up with pointing at two babies “are they twins”? Again a sensible response of “Yes they are” with the occational “very irrisponsible bonking I know!” thrown in.
After practicing my one liner at home for a while I finally said “No only 3 are mine the older two and one of these babies is but I liked the look of this other baby so much I bought her home from the hospital too!”
I laughed so hard I think that person thought I was a complete nutter!
And let’s not forget the many, many complete strangers who want to tell you all about how they’re a twin / their mum is a twin / their father’s auntie’s second cousin twice removed is a twin.
Hahaha! Yes! Which will no doubt be most of us in 20 years time as the memory of it all fades!
I have 2 sets of twin girls!! You can imagine the comments! Of course we don’t all get out much yet with the babies only being 5 months old- the big girls are almost 3. (We did not use ivf and there is no family history of twins either- crazy!) They are all fraternal and the twins don’t look like each other however the A’s look alike and B’s do too. Weird.
I am a twin mom too and it never ceases to amaze me the idiotic things people will say. Thanks for the laugh!
[...] anyone with a newborn, some come to take a closer look and others ask the questions/make comments, here is a very amusing blog post that was written about these questions/comments that are so frequently [...]
My favourite was ‘What do you do in your spare time?’. I go to the toilet.
I’m still pregnant so, my favorite so far is, were you expecting this? Yes, I willed my ovaries to drop two eggs just to I could spend three months puking and the next six growing to the size of a hippo.
I don’t have twins but I will certainly think before saying anything to a parent of twins again! lol. It is so nice to see them though and I know having one child is hard work so having two at the same time is no mean feat!
I must admit though I was frequently asked in supermarkets if my child was a boy or a girl when she was clearly dressed from head to toe in pink!!!!! It’s not just twin parents who get asked dopey questions!! Top tip from me – buy your grocery shopping online! Happy parenting!
I am a twin, my sister and I turn 30 this year and we still get asked some pretty stupid questions! Possibly the most annoying is “what’s it like being a twin?” to which I reply “what’s it like not being a twin?!” Hard to know the difference if you’ve been born that way!
I had one bright spark stop me when the boys were new born and ask me what the age difference was. When I said 8 minutes he looked at me with wide eyes and say “oh are they twins” btw they were close in weight and obviously new born
at one of the twin meetings i attended back in 2005 we had a dentist speaking when i walked in with my twins with me he stopped and asked “Twins… how did that happen?” not missing a beat as i am trying to sit down and unbuckle the babies from thier carriers I replied “my mom works at Walmart… They had a 2 for 1 special…” with the straightest face i could manage lol
While out with three year old daughter and new born identical twin boys …. Some idiot stranger comments ‘oh wow are they triplets’ what the?????
Love it so true. The identical one really gets me, as mine are completely different. I have noticed though. Now they are 5, I only get the Double Trouble, and are they identical comments, and people don’t stop me as much.
I really enjoyed this as i have been asked all these questions over and over again.. I think it’s so funny when I’m out with my 1yr old twin girls and I get asked so very often,,, “Are they twins??” and I feel like just saying back to them,, no they’re not, i just thought the other baby was just too cute to leave in hospital so I stole her!!! And I do also get the “Oh twins,, double trouble hey” and my reply is ” no twice the pleasure”.. Having 1 baby is such a wonderful experience but having twins is double the feelings,, it’s amazing!!!
Most new mums, whether multiple birth, or single birth, get stopped in the shops by people who genuinely are touched to see such new and beautiful life… but I too, on reading the above article will probably never stop to let any new mum know how lovely her baby is, or offer a supportive comment in an attempt to let her know she is not alone, or that she is doing a great job. I will let them go on their way to complete their shopping in peace – and will now understand that any efforts to offer support are met with eyerolling and disdain. I firmly believe that the majority of people who will stop to offer a comment are genuine and only mean well, and I prefer to think that those people, who may appear to you to be so ignorant, are caring for another human being, and that’s a good thing. I may not understand, and certainly if they are not the mother of twins could never understand how frustrated you get with the same comments and questions all the time. I do however, understand that although they may not say the right things, but they mean to.
You’re right, most new mums get stopped occasionally (I have had a ‘singleton baby’ before twins and was stopped probably half a dozen times ever). With twins you are stopped constantly, everywhere you go, pretty much wherever you go. It is different and I don’t expect anyone who hasn’t experienced it to understand, but having a giggle at a shared experience is not an affront to the intentions of people who say these things. It’s a giggle. That’s why I said it was tongue in cheek
Leanne, I am a twin mom, and I tend to think the same way.
It’s not just non twin people that say stupid stuff either…when the boys were still in SCUBU, there were two boys born who spent a few days there due to a rhesus issue. Their parents were euro (mum) and polynesian (dad), and the kids were like chalk and cheese both colouring and facial shape wise (couldn’t possibly have got more different). Day two the grandparents arrive and ask, “Are they identical?”…I mean seriously?!! But blow me over if the mum didn’t reply, “We don’t know yet until the tests come back.” I marched straight to the nurses station and demanded to know who the hell took these people’s money for such a rediculous test?!!
Ha, I enjoyed reading this! Our twins are due in June and we don’t yet know the genders or the type of twins they are.
The Dad replies are awesome. My partner is a very private and non-social person who has no fear in speaking his mind to people and he certainly doesn’t regard their feelings. I can’t wait to hear what he comes up with, I’ll have to share!
I’m the opposite so will try to remember some of these gems to use
I love this and great to see so many of us have experienced the same thing. I’m a twin (fraternal) and also have fraternal twin girls almost 1 yr old. We recently had an elderly lady say – “oh are they twins” hubby – “yes” Lady – how old are they? – Hubby – 11 months – Lady – Oh? both of them?? urm……. I also went into a newly opened store recently and asked if they had any of those trollies that had the 2 baby seats at the front (common in quite a few stores now and also available in this particular stores other branches) the assistant looked blank so I got a single seat trolley and explained it to him saying I had twins so needed 2 baby seats – he asked if my twins were both babies………. tempted to say no one seat is for me as I’m so knackered, the other twin will push the trolley……
Lol!!
One of my favourites is; “are they twins?” “yes” “so were they born on the same day?” or ” are they identical?” (they’re clearly not) so I say no, then “so are they not twins?” just because they look different….
I’m a 26 year old (almost 27) faternal twin. My twin is a boy! I’ll never forget when we were kids and people just couldn’t believe we were actually twins. We were also adopted. My poor parents (who were Pastors of our local church) had every visitor, and every member that didn’t know, asking questions about us at every service! We got so sick of defending our twin-hood that when people asked us if we were “really twins” we’d just reply, “no, my parents adopted us from two different families.” People are idiots!
I try not to stop mom’s of multiples to gauk, and remenisce about my twin-hood. But occassionally, like yesterday morning at breakfast, I can’t help by comment, “Look at your beautiful twins! Lucky you!” The mom was single, eating breakfast with her twins alone. My heart really went out to her, I know what little terrors we were, but I also remember my mother always being thankful for us, even on those “pull my hair out” twin days.
Double the blessings!
Love this! It’s so true! Another one I get are ” are they the same sex” I think to myself are u serious they are both wearing the same thing and there clothes are blue what do u think!
Keep it coming ladies this has made my day
My favorite, are they natural? My answer “no they are synthetic” I love the look.
Brilliant post and although my twins will be 4 in the summer I STILL get all the same questions – I’ll add this to the MMC, nice to have you on board
[...] post to shout out on Twitter and join up so please allow me to introduce you to Jane who writes at In A Different Voice she writes a very funny post titled Things Not to Say to a Twin Mum, we’ve heard them a [...]
Great Blog. I am British with twin girls just turned 1. We live in the UAE and find that the British sense of humour doesn’t go down too well here, they just don’t get it. Current favourites are:
Twins madam? – No. Same uterus, different fathers.
Boy and girl madam? Yes, I just decided to dress the boy in a cute pink dress today.
Who is oldest? She is, by 1 minute, can you tell? No Madam. Why are you asking then?
Saying that, I actually do like the attention and the UAE is a VERY baby friendly place and I have people coming over and blessing the girls in English, Arabic, Urdu, Hindi, Tagalog etc etc and telling me I am truly blessed and you know what, I know I am.
You have made my evening reading your article! Very funny but very true! I have identical boys who are 4, and I still get stopped with so much negativity makes me so cross! Number 8 has been a very popular one with me whilst browsing the deli counter in Waitrose!
Thanks Sandie! It is making my day every time I get lovely replies!
)
I’m just sorry I can’t reply to all of them! Given the subject matter I know commenters will understand
Ha ha I have had all of these comments and more and am sat laughing and nodding in equal amounts! My girls are five now and non id and I am always asked if I am sure if they are twins.
I think the silliest comment I ever had was “did you want twins?” “yup I just put the tick in the box and presto”
along with the “don’t you have tv in your house?” & ” are they real twins?” to the outright rude “I’d rather die than have twins” Uhuh…” I’d rather you died than have my twins”
Most of the time it’s lovely, being shattered but proud, almost able to see the path in front and hoping they don’t both wail or poop just as you leave the house. Being stopped and admired makes you feel better. I have to admit that the constant touching did start to get a little alarming some days so I just shut the hoods on the pram and didn’t stop.
Reblogged this on intourbeing.
Hi, this list made me die! How many times have I thought all this stuff in my head while being asked the same stupid questions?! It does drive you mad. Aside from all the usual questions the other irritating ones are:
Have they got the same personalities? (no of course not they are two DIFFERENT people.
Can you tell them apart? ( oh my god really? You think I don’t know my own kids).
Annoying statements, definatley the one about having two close together really gets my goat. The absolute diamond though had to be one of my friends who said “oh it can’t be that hard having twins, you just have to do everything twice”!!!!!!! Unbelievable!
My twins are 18mos younger than my oldest and someone asked me if they were triplets. Yes, exactly they are. You see that one walking and talking and feeding himself? He’s just like the two that are slumped over in infant seats because they can’t hold their heads up.
Also, I liked this one, I have never seen identical twins with different colored eyes. Well, no kidding.
Then there’s How do you tell them apart and are you sure they are twins? Not to mention all the stupid ones you listed. Kills me!!!!
One comment I often get which I really dont understand is “Oh aren’t you a clever girl having twins!” firstly im 28 so no longer a ‘girl’ and secondly you dont have to pass an exam to have twins!
I am almost 34 wks with fraternal girls and I feel like I get loads of interesting questions already. Most of them wonder how I will nurse two babies: well I do have to breasts! I know I will get many questions when the girls are here in a few weeks. I can not imagine being stopped 20 times in one grocery trip!
I’ve got 4 children 4 years (and 11 days apart) and in the middle are twin boys. If I had a pound for every time someone said to me “you’ve got your hands full” I’d be rich! The other most common comments are “which ones are twins” and “are they triplets”. Divs
i used to get ‘did you have a natural birth’………….was quite shocked at first?? but soon got used to it
and the first time i took them out it took me an hour to get about 100 yards lol
My favourite is ‘it’s only going to get better’. Please tell me when cos I’d like to know!
Hi everyone
I haven’t got twins but I have had a few dippy comments. My eldest 2 are 19 months apart and when I was pregnant with my 3rd they were 3 and 15 months and the number of people used to look at me in pity and say “oooh you’ll be busy” yes cos I have soooo much spare time now! “you’re brave!” er no soldiers are brave, I’m a mummy and I love it! and my fave “you’ll have your hands full!” to which my friend (who also has three)came up with the perfect reply “better full hands than empty arms!” 
When confronted with the IVF question. “are they IVF” no doggy and reverse cowgirl actually and maybe missionary. Said with a relaxed smile usually send people away quick sticks to the nearest embarrassment corner! Ha
Loved this post and all the comments! I have a 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old boy/girl twins. When they were much younger, a man held the door for my triple stroller and then I heard him mutter, “Oh my God, I can’t imagine…” as he walked away. And we just got tutted at in the grocery store yesterday, even when my kids were behaving beautifully. I think some shoppers get scared when they see the enormous cart coming their way! However, most often these days, we get smiles and wide eyes and comments about how cute these kiddos are. When in doubt about what to say, the very best thing is, “Can I get the door for you?”
Really funny. I love this. I wrote my own similar last year http://discontentedmother.blogspot.com/2011/10/double-trouble-and-other-annoying-witty.html
Great blog
Thanks! I took a peep and enjoyed yours too! I’m so glad I’ve discovered blogging (and now reading blogs!) because it makes it that bit easier knowing loads of people are experiencing the exact same things
Wow! Absolutely fabulous! I love this thread and the comments, I completely agree with the silly things people have said to you and also often say to me. I love your witty reply to the ‘I don’t know how you do it!!’, I might try that one on someone.
The most stupid thing said to me was when I was stopped by a female stranger at a service station. I was pushing our 13 month old twin girls (who were both wearing yellow babygrows) in their pink double pushchair, when a lady stopped me, smiled & said
“Ah, are they twins?”
Me: Yes
Stranger: Boy / Girl?
Me: No, both girls (You’d think the pink double buggy would be a huge clue)
Stranger: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
How stupid did she think I was? I’m their Mum, of course I’m sure that they are both girls!!!
My twin girls are now 2 years old, our eldest daughter is 4 years old and our latest daughter is 2 weeks old. Now not only do I have the twin comments to contend with, I also have the “Oh, four girls!” comments and the “Oh my, four children”.
Hehe! I have girls in a blue buggy so get comments about it being ‘interesting’ or ‘unusual’, as though very very mildly contradicting a gender norm is THAT big a deal! I only have three, although can imagine how attractive to bored strangers you’re going to be with four – I suspect that’s the point at which I might pretend to not speak English as part of the sarcy repertoire! Hope all’s good with new baby
Sorry if someone has already written this one, I didn’t see it but here goes: We have boy/girl twins and I can’t count the number of times that someone has asked, “A boy AND a girl?” to which I reply yes, and then they say, “That’s great, now you don’t need to have anymore! You got it all done in one shot!” I always just want to say, “Thanks for making that very personal, life altering decision for me!!”
I have no idea what it’s Luke to have twins but think you are all really blessed.
Just wanted to add my comment that my nephew is 3 months older than my daughter and he is a fair bit bigger but they look similar and when we are out and about we often get asked if they are twins. More so when they are in high chairs or in my double buggy (we used to sit them in that and put my eldest in the single).
Hehehe, yeah you and your babies seem to become public property when it’s twins. I always got asked “Do you breast feed them?” (buy me a freakin drink before you wanna talk about my breasts please), “Oh, they’re identical!” – “no, they are just brothers, they are fraternal twins”… “are you sure?!” (wow, I had never really thought about that, but now that YOU, a complete stranger have asked, I will question that…). As for the “Are they twins?” – a few times I literally replied, “no triplets, I only bring out my favourites” and “Oh crap I lost one AGAIN!”.
Hi my b/g twins are now nearly 34 (years!) and I have beautiful twin grand daughters (nearly 4 yrs). Comments of 30 years ago………same as today, especially “but they’re meant to miss a generation”. Well, I’m so sorry lady, I forgot to tell my daughter she wasn’t allowed to have twins! PS – love your blog and a big thanks to you xx
Loved Margs one about the triplets! I have 8yr old trips & it was a nightmare. As they get older you do get asked less & less, and yes you do start to miss it, odd though if sounds. My older son takes great pains to point out that they are triplets, & you do find yourself bringing it into conversation because you do miss the feeling you get when they tell you “Hats off”.
A 10min trip to the shops took on average an hour and a half. People would walk past my triple bus, sorry pram, and do a double take.
“Of it’s 3!” yes you moron, just proves you can count.
“Oh is it triplets?” “no twins, I stole the other one!”.
“What did you say when you found out?” “Bugger me, but then if I had said that in the first place I wouldn’t be in this mess!” loved that one the best, brill on the older generation, shocked silence means you can walk on in peace.
The one I hated the most was “How do you cope” to which I simply answer “Well obviously I did cos they are still alive, plus they bounce!”
As the mom of 9 year old non-identical girls I was always annoyed by the strange questions but almost became irate after this exchange:
Rude woman – Did you use fertility drugs?
Me – Yes
Rude woman – (in a haughty voice) Well then, they shouldn’t even be here!
Ughhhhh!
Wow! I would have truly blown my top!!!
Brilliant post. So pleased you linked it up to the multiple mayhem carnival.
Think I’ve heard them all too. I don’t mind as long as people say something positive. I hate it when they say how hard twins are.
Check out the other posts about multiples here http://1978rebecca.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/multiple-mayhem-carnival.html
Thanks Rebecca – nice to be involved
)
As a Dad of twins I get all of these! I quite like the genuine interest ones, like your 1st 2, as they’re usually genuinely intended, & I enjoy the attention! But when I’m asked of my twins, even when the questioner already KNOWS they are boy-girl – “Are the yidentical?” my answer is at the very least unintentionally patronising! And the IVF one? Why do people seem to think that they have some sort of right to know? My hairdresser asked me that recently & I would have replied “That’s none of your business” except she was holding a large pair of sharp scissors next to my ear at the time
Genuinely meant is indeed lovely. Genuinely daft deserves a daft answer!
I am going to do the gin thing next time I am in the supermarket! Brilliant, truly brilliant.
Like you, I say yes to the sex thing as well even though I have a boy and girl! Even when they know they are boy and girl I still get asked if they are identical. When I say no, they then ask why? Erm…. because one has a willy!
I also get the phrase ‘they must keep you busy?’ and I say ‘oh no they are gifted and talented twins and I spend my of time watching diagnosis murder and they entertain themselves – they can even cook their own dinner! It is very impressive at 2 years old!’
Then I get ‘Really!”
WTF?
Some people are complete imbeciles!
Thanks for sharing this brilliant post. I am hosting the next carnival in May so please join in again!
Kerry
Oh do! Just buy the gin, it really is good for you!
So funny!!!
My dad has suggested: Are they twins?… No they’re actually triplets but these are our favourite two!
Doesn’t everyone have a twin story? Whilst shopping a couple of days ago I had to wait for a proud Grandma to set down all her shopping and search around in her bag to find a photo album to show me pictures of her little twin grandsons playing with paint. Just because I have twins does not make me in any way interested in yours!
Touche!
I hear you! 4 month old twins here and my favorite two questions in a row are “are they a boy and a girl? They are! Are they identical?”. I also get asked all the time if they are both mine. Because a person voluntarily decides to go out alone with a two year old and 4 month old twins that aren’t theirs!
[...] The dreaded question “are they twins?” I’m sure this post from Jane from In a different voice will have all multiple parents nodding their head agreement over all the silly comments they hear [...]
My identical twins are now 11 years old. When they were born someone asked me if “they shared a brain”. When I asked what they meant, they thought that when the egg split half the brain went to one kid and the other half went to the other kid.
I just walked away and didn’t answer. Thanks for the place to share that ridiculous tale.
Oh that’s brilliant! I think I may need to compile a ‘best of the comments’ on this post as there have been so many hilarious examples!
Just love this, I have twin boys and I’m a twin, just sat here with my mum reading them, we are crying laughing! Brilliant x
Lovely to hear!
[...] had a cracking comment recently on a post I wrote called Things Not to Say to a Twin Mum. Cracking in the sense that I read it, snorted with laughter and hit delete with a flourish. [...]
A new one: The 10 Superior Skills of the Twin Parent! http://inadifferentvoice.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/the-10-superior-skills-of-the-twin-parent/
I love this…so true!! My non-identical girls both have blonde hair, and when answering “no” to the “Are they identical?” question, I have, on more than a few occasions, been met with “Are you sure?!” Then I had the just plain rude people-one of my daughters had a hole in her heart which had to be corrected as she wasn’t thriving, her sister was inevitably putting on weight as any healthy baby should, but was still very small for age. Because of the differences in their size for a few months I was met with-”oh someone’s been stealing all the milk!” To which I replied, “Actually she’s just a perfect size, her sister is sick, but thanks so much for pointing it out!”. And the worst part? Afterwards I felt bad for seeming like a bitch! I have to say though there were lots of lovely comments too, which make your day! And my answer to “How do you do it?” is and always has been “Because I have to…no-one’s gonna do it for me!”
Ain’t that the truth!
I have triplets…I’m lucky if I can get anywhere without being stopped dozens of times!! Two of the best comments…out at the beach, all three lying on a blanket, 12 weeks old…lady next to us says ‘twins and a friend?’ Like who the hell takes their newborn twins to the beach and takes someone elses newborn baby just for fun? Next one was a little boy saw just the two in the buggy, missed the one in the sling, said ‘wow twins!’ I said ‘no, there’s three of them’ he says ‘wow three twins!!’ had to laugh cause he was only little!! And I always get the ‘are they identical’ question…answer..the two girls are…next question ‘but the boy isn’t?’ No…think about it…
Hahaha! The beach question is superb!! You must get it way more than we do. I guess you could just claim you’re a nanny??!
I am thrilled to have my twin boys, now 3 months. We also have two girls, 3 and 6. The “hands full” comment, though generally well-meaning, I’ve heard probably every day. My hands were full already with just the girls! Well-meaners should just say “beautiful babies”, smile and let us get on with the shopping. The IVF question is so personal, I just can’t believe strangers ask it, but they do, all the time. For those that have been through it, I doubt they want to talk to total strangers about it. I once overheard a shop lady say so-and-so had *real* twins, as in not IVF fake twins. Unreal! All the comments here are priceless, it’s great to have a laugh and know that we’re all in it together.
My dramatic sister-in-law truly believes her single pregnancy with a lime-sized fibroid was basically the same as carrying twins. Erm, fibroids can be awful, but NO, not the same thing at all. And when my boys were born, my normally intelligent brother asked if they were fraternal or maternal, to which I answered, “definitely maternal!”
Love it! I guess some people must have better twin pregnancies than others have singletons ones… but I can’t say I’ve met many!
For a good laugh, see ‘Moms of multiples are freaks of nature’ on YouTube
Ha! So true! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE
I had, OMG poor you! Twins! (as I wheeled the buggy out of a lift in mothercare 16 years ago)
My reply, OMG Poor you you mean!! Ugly ugly baby!!!
Always liked the are you breast feeding them?
Are they boys? No the one in the dress and the pink socks is a girl!!
People still ask me if they are identical!! Son 6″ daughter 5’6 one blonde and one darker, one a GIRL! One a BOY! What is wrong with you!!!
And my brother in law asked me tonight if they where the same age!!
I would just disown him. I mean, really???!!
I’ve not even had them yet and still get wound up by stupid comments… Especially the “you’re going to be huge” one… Yeah like gee thanks for cheering me up!
Oh they started in pregnancy for me too. The regular open scrutiny of how huge I was, of whether I intended to have them naturally, of ‘poor you’, ‘brave you’ etc etc. Barely anyone actually congratulated me – it was mostly that kind of response where you just told someone you got a C in your a-levels. not good enough for a cheer but they can’t hide their lack of enthusiasm! It’s all good now though – at least the attention’s on them and not me! BTW I like the other half’s blog
Brilliant.
(Is it odd that I now may want twins?)
Not at all odd! I think everyone should have them, it would make picking teams for rounders so much easier at school. “Twin A’s to the left, Twin B’s to the right!”
Omg I cannot like this post enough! I have 17wk old twin boys so I’m a bit green to dealing with people making stupid remarks and I felt like I was the only one putting up with this! I get every one of the points mentioned above! My ‘favourite’ at the moment is when people say ‘are they identical?’ and I reply ‘yes they are’ and the person will say ‘oh, hmm, actually no, don’t think they are’ I feel like saying ‘How about you take that argument up with my placenta!’ hahaha
Love it! No you’re not alone. I worried I was until I posted this and was overwhelmed at the response! Join a twin club and you get to hear some even better ones!
P.S. All things said though, I love being a mum of twins and it’s just nice we can all relate to these silly, silly people who say really ridiculous stuff.
Likewise, this was always just a bit of a giggle – some days I do love to stop and chat to people and I’ve never intentionally been rude to anyone who has spoken to me. Twins are fabulous!
I’m reading this in the silent section of the library and trying really hard not to laugh!! x
Mission accomplished
I have also gotten wow “how much did you gain with them” seriously why the hell would I tell that to a stranger.
Haha! I guess the obvious answer would be to tell them and ask their excuse
I’m a father of twins, so I’m coming from a slightly different angle, but my all-time favourite comment was: “Oh, you have twins! That’s so cute. I have triplets”. Followed by a cold shoulder and the smuggest smile you’ve ever seen.
Well up yours, Mrs Smug. You can have your extra kid, I thought. That’s just being greedy.
I’ve gotten all the usual questions and comments, but in three years only one has bugged me, and that was the woman who insisted (while I waited for the fishmonger and the boys cried after a long, complicated errand day that went on a good hour after it should have been over) that my boys were hungry (Um, yes, I know) and that if there was just a place for us to go, she could feed one for me and I could feed the other (she asked if I was nursing but didn’t really listen to the answer). I explained that we were just waiting for our order and then my house was two minutes away and I would feed them there. She kept talking. This was, apparently, some kind of cause for her, to get stores to provide quiet places for moms to feed their infants with unsolicited assistance from complete strangers. My salmon came across the counter and she would not stop talking. I tried to politely bring the conversation (monologue) to an end, and she would not stop talking. I headed past her and she would not stop talking. I walked away while she continued talking about how nice it would be if there were a quiet place where she and I could cozy up and feed my hungry sons. I found such a place two minutes away in my own home–minus the extra person–and for all I know she is still talking.
No other questions or comments–including those mentioned here–have ever bothered me. I did entertain myself once by counting how many steps I could take in a croswed Costco before the next comments came (11), and once I saw an elderly woman commenting to her husband that I must have twins in my stroller, so I wandered over to let her admire them as she was seated and clearly unable to easily rise and come to me.
To be honest, I think I’m more often bothered by intolerant, snide comments by twin moms about friendly, curious people than I am by friendly, curious people. But I realize I’m in the minority.
Thanks for the salmon story!
Simply love it! I too concur as a mommy of twin girls. In the beginning, it was kinda cute (not really ) the first few times. After awhile the comments become annoying especially while the girls were at their prime (yelling and having their infamous tantrums). I have SOOOOOO many comments to post,however it would take all day.
I can say however, while in my third trimester some people GOT ON MY LAST (bleeping) nerve. Comments like: Wow. You are sure getting big. You think. I thought my food hadn’t digest….since last year. At least I know I am pregnant. Whats your excuse?
Haha! The pregnancy comments are a joy aren’t they. Like you become an object in a gallery to be scrutinised! I was too bemused by my own size most of the time to mind, but it did get old fast.
My favorite being a twin mom was….how did you make twins? Seriously lol…..one day anwsered doggy style lol…..the look on the ladies face was priceless! Lol
I suppose most people mean well, but don’t realise how annoying it is to hear the same thing over and over. But some of these are plain mad – especially how ignorant some people are about basic biology! My sister is a childminder and is forever being asked if the (various) children she has with her are twins, despite the fact that she is nearly 50 and usually with children who are patently unrelated. She was once asked if my daughter and her same-age friend were twins. My daughter is blond with blue eyes. Her friend is Chinese.
I have twin girls age 10 AND twin boys age 4. Imagine how much I enjoy these conversations with strangers in public. Spot on. Hilarious. And I love sharing these with all of my Moms of non-twins … they get a good laugh too!
Haha double, double trouble perchance?!
[...] Weirdly, my own words just popped up in my Facebook timeline by way of this egreetings card which has a quote from my blog post on Things Not To Say to a Twin Mum! [...]
[...] had a cracking comment recently on a post I wrote called Things Not to Say to a Twin Mum. Cracking in the sense that I read it, snorted with laughter and hit delete with a flourish. [...]
Old lady grabbed the handles of the pram one day, stopping my poor Sleep deprived Husband in his tracks, peered at the sleeping Twins and demanded “What are they ? ”
Husband , without pausing to think replied ‘ They’re Russian Rock Hopper Penguins, we got them from the Zoo !’
And carried on walking …… I